AZ 4 - Our Shrinking Group

From 48 volunteers in June 2006 to 33 in October 2007

Halloween Extravaganza

The cold came back and I am starting to believe the rumor that your 2nd winter is worst because you know exactly what to expect. Its only November and I am already running my 100 year old gas pech (heater). Thankfully the thing is powerful and heats up the room enough for me to be comfortable in. We’ll see how I feel about that, come March, the most miserable month in Peace Corps.

School is going all right, relatively speaking. I don’t go as much as last year, but I know what I am doing and my teaching has significantly improved. Plus, I just organized a huge event which turned out to be really fun for kids and teachers. The event was called the “Halloween Extravaganza” and I set up a carnival type celebration with different booths and activities. To help, I invited twenty volunteers to run the activities and help me lead groups of students around. The stations included: Bobbing for Apples, Mask Making, Fortune Telling, Candy Trivia, Learn-A-New Game, and a Haunted House. I originally estimated for about 60-80 students to show up and was a little overwhelmed when the final count was around 130. The five group leaders (including myself) ended up being a bit overpowered. Since I am not a huge child fan (especially screaming ones) by the time we were done I literally wanted to pull my hair out. 5th to 9th graders are out of control everywhere but in Azerbaijan they don’t even know how to form a line! Students would get upset if they weren’t the first ones picked for an activity, not understanding that everybody will get a turn. At one point some of the IDP children started fighting and that’s when I almost lost it and was about to let the rage loose. Either way the event ended up being an utter success, and the Haunted House, which we made, blew everyone away. We bought black fabric to black out the windows and create compartments within the room. Then we had students walk in by two’s and go touch some “intestines” and “eye balls,” to get them grossed out. Following they ran through a compartment where a skeleton holding a severed head would chase them out, and finally they would walk through the haunted domain where a ghost jumped out at them spraying them with silly string. The room was complete with a creepy soundtrack cycling through the themes of The Exorcist, Halloween, and Psycho. Some kids were really afraid and some 5th grade girls refused to go in. Here is where I get to throw a special shout out to my college best friends who all sent decorations, candy, and costumes for this event. It couldn’t have happened without you!! After the event we all gathered in the dark, and had drinks to congratulate ourselves. It was dark because when its windy the town shuts the power off, needless to say there was a windstorm that night and electricity came around noon the next day.

Socially, my Peace Corps life has been quite eventful this past month. We had our Mid Service Conference, two softball tournaments, a Halloween Party, a pig roast, and next week I am off to Baku for a Thanksgiving feast. Additionally I have never been as ill in my life as I have in October. I had 4 different conditions which ends up equaling to a new one every week. Ah the joys of PC life. On a brighter note, come December I have only 9 months left. SINGLE DIGITS BABY!

Jason, Sarah and I (site mates!) the Lenkaran Halloween Party.

Ina Teacher

The school year started, the kids are back at school, and Ina Teacher is yet again going to attempt getting through to them. I am teaching 5th and 6th grade again with the hope to set up a strong base for when I leave and they go back to soviet system memorizations and dictations. Teaching is definitely not my calling and I am looking forward to ending this year and never doing it again! GAH!! I am being useful though. Really! I am currently in the process of planning a Halloween event which will take place on November 3. We are setting up a number of activity stations, will have a play, ghost story readings, trick or treating, and a costume contest. I never realized how much planning goes into a 3-hour event, especially when resources are scarce. Wish me luck!

When it comes to my personal life I recently received a legitimate marriage proposal. I was at the post office, where I go often to receive my mail, packages, and to send faxes. I was there on my biweekly visit when a man from the fax window called me over. So I went, thinking they may let me use the fax for free, and he proceeded to invite me into the booth with him and a bunch of old women. When I got in there he pointed to one of them, presumably his mother, who is my fax lady and started explaining to me how she has another young, muscular son who is ready to get married. I immediately regretted going back there and went into my usual spiel that I don’t want to get married, too young, going back to America and so on. He was like “That’s ok! You don’t have to get married, just get engaged! We’ll get you a ring and then both of you can go to America!!” His mom was just sitting and occasionally responding to my digressions with “But why???” I just figured that at my age I must look quite desperate and that no, actually means yes to them! At that point I did a U-Turn and straight ran out of there. All I have to say is that sending faxes will never be the same! They will never learn…

I had another adventure (not a good one unfortunately) the past few days with Kiwi, my puppy. Towards the end of last week she started getting sick, she wouldn’t eat or drink and at first I assumed she just ate something bad. However she proceeded to get worse and worse, and finally put her in box and took her to Genja (which is the 2nd biggest city and a little over and hour away). There through the volunteers we ended up finding a veterinarian in a scary dog training facility who told me she had a 50% chance to make it, and put her on an iv for 4 days. I just found out today that she is going to make it and I can go pick her up in 2 days. Apparently she picked up some sort of stomach infection which severely dehydrated her and had I brought her in any later she wouldn’t have made it. I am so happy that I get my puppy.

So this is it for now. This month I head into Baku for my Mid-Service Conference and am officially starting to count down the days till the end. Keep writing those emails!

End of Summer Report

My long awaited vacation to New Zealand is over and I am now back to my little town in Azerbaijan. It was quite a shock to come back from winter to a scorching summer. Surprisingly the other way around didn’t seem to bother me as much. My trip went great and I got to do everything that I had my mind set to do: skiing, glacier hiking, bungy jumping, drinking beer, etc. It was a great time and I secretly hoped I would break something on the last day so I get to stay a little longer. Nonetheless the three weeks flew by and now I am a week into being back, still trying to get over how great civilization is.



I have been keeping myself busy the past two weeks in attempt to get over the civilization blues. Coming back did bring me one surprise in the fact that when I walked through my door I found a puppy in my yard. It was tiny, skinny, and balding due to malnutrition. Turns out my landlord picked it up from the street and would feed it with a few pieces of bread every morning which the poor thing wouldn’t eat. Of course Azeris hate dogs, so they never paid enough attention to notice that it was actually the chickens who took care of the few dried up pieces of bread. So now it is me who takes care of it, and am proud to report that little Kiwi (in commemoration of NZ) is growing new fur and in size. I wish I could say something to my landlord about the food situation, but I wouldn’t put it past them to throw her out on the street when they find out she is not eating. Doesn’t make sense I know, but in reality that’s all it would take. So now she keeps me company and hopefully soon enough will learn how to take care of the hoodlums bothering me on the streets. Here is a picture:



I also got the chance to go to training last week and meet the new group, all 52 of them. It looked like so many people, especially in comparison to us who have only 33 left (we were 47 when we started). They seemed like a nice bunch of kids, yet so inexperienced…”said grandma Ina, with all those skills under her belt.” It will be interesting how long it will take them to discover the reality of the situation. That sounds mean, and truth is if I can do it then anyone can. Either way it was nice to meet them and see who my new friends will be, especially since I had to delete half my phone numbers with the departure of the previous group. So this is it. I don’t have much energy to write more or make this witty and exciting due to the fact it is 95 degrees and I can’t think straight due to extreme sweating.
        (seems to be the theme this summer…)


PS. I tried to put up a lot more pictures but with each attempt the electricity went out...So this is all you get!

Ina's Summer Schedule

Daily Routine:
10:00 - Wake up sweating or with the intense urge to urinate.

11:00 – 12:00 - Clean and laundry (yes everyday, I count it as my work out!)

14:30 – 17:00 - Nap, DVDs or read, but in most cases I just stare at the ceiling, sweating.

17:00 – 18:00 - Shower (rarely after Tae Bo) to wash of that day’s sweat.

18:00 – 20:00 - Internet CafÈ where I sweat some more.

20:30 - Dinner

21:00 – 23:00 - Stare at the ceiling for a little while longer, happy that the sun is gone.

23:30 – 1:00 - Lay aimlessly in bed trying to fall asleep.

Yep, I am saving the world….by sweating!!! Seriously though, everyday this past week has been in the 90s with no AC and I am melting away.

In reality, I haven’t been quite as useless as it sounds. After GLOW camp I had about a week long break and then I went to Ali Bayramli, an oil town in the middle of the desert, to help out two volunteers with their English camp. Everyday we went to their mosquito infested school where got eaten alive for 2+ hours. Only 8 kids showed up, due to the fact it was scorching outside, but the ones that did really seemed to have fun. Right after the camp I went to Baku to pick up a group of 8 new trainees and bring them to Barda for a few days where they were suppose to learn through observation. I was surprised at how fresh and clean they were. The girls still wore make-up and did their hair, while the one boy was showered and smelled nice. They were exuding positively and excitement which I knew would slowly drain out of them as the months pass. Is that what I was like last year!? I tried my best to be positive and constructive which proved really difficult and took a lot out of me. After they left I had to call a friend and hate a little bit in order to feel better. Don’t get me wrong, I am not evil or anything, but this country has its shortcomings which I don’t think I’ll ever learn to handle. Can’t ruin the newbies though, according to Peace Corps they must reach their own conclusions, which soon enough would match up with mine! It did feel good to be an all knowing mentor, and talking about what I have done made me feel that I am being a productive volunteer. We didn’t do anything Azerbaijani those few days. Amongst others, we played softball, made burritos, had a cook-out, drank beers and went to the internet. It was a good time and exactly what they needed after 2 weeks of Azeri host family life. Additionally, I have been working with one of my counterparts to develop a conversational program for her tutoring sessions. It’s a kind of knowledge exchange where I correct her grammar while learning the principles that guide it. So these have been my official Peace Corps activities in addition to the sweating I previously described.

Look at them, they are so happy!

Either way this summer of boredom is slowly passing and I have almost reached the long awaited August when I get to get out of here for 3 weeks. I am eager to leave the 90 degree weather and go to ski, jump off things, and hike in the cold. I fear the possibility that I may like it way too much and never come back to my life of solitude. I say that because lately I never leave my house, which I have turned into little America, in order to avoid the judgmental stares of greasy men.

6 more days till New Zealand…WOOO HOOO!!

GLOW Camp and Phyllis

Summer camp, an American phenomenon I had only observed on TV…Well I did it, in Azerbaijan, and surprisingly it worked quite well. I went into it thinking how I am going to be running after and babysitting 14 year olds that have never been out of the house before. It wasn’t far from the truth except that it turned out I didn’t mind it quite as much as originally predicted. We had all the usual camp activities including: bonfire, smores, dance, talent show, journaling, games, etc. We had the girls divided into groups and I happen to be the counselor of one of those. My girls were precious with the exception of one…The kid was bright but had a severe case of ADD, which of course is not recognized in this country. She never listened, couldn’t concentrate on anything, ran off without asking permission, and was involved in all aspects of my camp life. At night I literally had to tuck her in and turn off the light. During the day I had to constantly watch her so she doesn’t run off and further our group ended up being last in points, because she was always late and non-cooperative top it off, on my birthday, which was also the last day of camp, she head butted me in the eye during a water balloon fight. Ugh! Other than that, GLOW was amazing, we could see the girls break out of their shells and really experience something new and exciting. For most of them this was their first time away from their families and the friendships they made are ones they will never forget. The camp ended with snot and tears and lots of wet kisses which I didn’t quite enjoy, but I pretended…

So camp ended and now I am back in hot and steamy Barda. Sweatiness is in full force once again. When I came back I was naturally worried that I got robbed but instead I found an egg on my doorstep. I was quite excited thinking how nice of my landlord to give me a fresh egg for my return. The next day me and my dear friend, who joined me at site for a few days, woke up and started with our morning routine of doing nothing. At one point, while lying in bed, I heard a piercing scream coming from the kitchen, sheer terror… I ran to the door where Jenny googly eyed was looking through the glass at a strange phenomenon occurring in my kitchen…. A chicken had wandered in; it was huge and black, and looked even bigger in my tiny kitchen area. It was squacking and quacking and couldn’t get out due to the fact the door to the outside had closed. We screamed for help but nothing happened, it was stuck! Eventually I managed, through screams and fear, to release the poor thing. And then the strangest thing happened…I looked down to the floor and what do I see? A perfectly shaped beige egg sitting on my flip-flops. I looked at it once, and then twice, and pushed it slightly with my finger…It was warm! The chicken had given me a present, and it had done so the day before too. I know exactly who she is because there are 6 chickens running in my yard and she is the only black one. To commemorate the moment we named her Phyllis and we are good friends now. Even today I found an egg on my doorstep.

Sweating Already

Its not even June yet and the temperatures are in the high 80s, and to think it will only get worse! So here I am again, school is finished and I have a ton of free time on my hands! So far I have napped a lot, sweated a lot, and managed to get a nasty stomach flu which is not desirable when the WC is a jog away. I am not completely worthless though, I actually have an agenda for this summer: I am hosting an all girl conversation club at my house, teaching adults at the municipality, participating in a number of English camps and hopefully getting involved with the Pre-Service Training for the new group which arrives in less than a month. Other than filled with mosquitoes and sweat, May was also quite a productive month. I participated in America Day in Lenkaran (a region in the south), where we taught teenagers about American culture through fun and games. There, we also celebrated Cinco De Mayo like real Mexicans thanks to the generous parents of the volunteers down there. The weekend after that we hosted the first ever softball tournament in Azerbaijan. Teams consisting of Americans and Azeris came from 3 regions and competed against each other the 1st day, while the 2nd we had an all American game. I don’t know how it was possible but I did not play on a winning team that whole weekend! Additionally not only did my team come in 4th on Saturday because our Azeris didn’t get that running after the ball is a necessity, but also because our captain, insisted I pitch. Regardless it was one of the best weekends in country so far. Our next tournament is in 2 weeks, and I am getting ready for another Barda bashing tournament.

So there, that first paragraph was aimed at proving that I am not actually worthless. I have realized that none of my other entries deal with what I actually do, and thought it was about time I show you that I do more than feel sorry for myself. Even though greasy boys haven’t stopped harassing me, and it doesn’t seem like they ever will, the fact that I am finally on my own has made me a much happier person. I haven’t eaten Azeri food in over a month and am definitely not missing the 10 cups of hot tea I was force fed last summer. So it is due to this major improvement that I have decided to NOT quit early. I was definitely considering it when I lived in the waterless apartment and who knows what would have happened had I stayed there. I definitely lucked out with my house, while my poor site mate Sarah got kicked out of “the palace” for no reason what so ever. That, however, is a whole story on its own….

Pics: 1) Me looking surprised at my school 2) At the Peace Corps Lounge in Baku 3) How we travel around in 90 degree weather!

The jon...

You can't imagine whats its like until you see it!

Misfortunes and such

April is almost over and I am I couldn’t be happier. It was an adventure with a bad start but a good enough ending (knock on wood). Here is what happened…I moved into my new apartment, located in the scary “bazaar” neighborhood. I was excited because it was decent, with a western style toilet and a decent looking bathroom in addition to the fact that it was newly painted and clean looking. I was positive and looking forward to my new Azerbaijani existence. The day after I moved out my water stopped. Apartment buildings in Azerbaijan are usually not the best when it comes to water supply. Usually each apartment has its own 50-liter tank which gets filled when the water does come. In most cases this happens 2 to 3 times a week so I figured I’d have to wait a day or 2. On the 3rd day, however, I figured out that the water hadn’t been coming to the building for over a month, and was lied to by my landlords who I asked 2+ times about why the hell people kept coming in the building lugging buckets of water. I continued to live like this for the next 3 weeks, showering and doing laundry at other people’s places, and buying food day to day. I chose not to buy the necessities I needed such as a mop, cooking utensils, a fridge, pots and pans, etc until this issue got resolved. I got in touch with the ex-com, police, and everyone in power I knew in order to get the government on the ball of getting the water fixed. To top it off, I could barely sleep in this apartment due to the fact the street dogs would have a barking contest outside my window from 1 till 6 am….and I thought the roosters during training were bad. Basically I had had enough. Meanwhile my counterpart, who helped me look for houses for 3 months, found my site mate Sarah a GREAT house in just one week. Not only does she have running water, but also her house is fully furnished, renovated, and with all the housing utensils she needs, that and she has a swimming pool/tub in her yard. Being pissed was understatement. So then that was topped off by the tragic events that took place at Virginia Tech. Being so far away from it did not make it any easier on me, having in mind that I have walked the halls, have friends there, and had always considered the place home. Nothing was going right, until just a few days ago when the Peace Corps housing coordinator actually did his job, and found me a house! I moved today and am ecstatic. I have a huge yard which will have tons of fruit in the summer. It also has furniture, a fridge, and all the basic necessities that were lacking before. The only negative to my little house is the scary outdoor toilet that I am trying to get used to. Its basically a concrete slab with a hole, under which there is a poop well. Lets just say that it DOES NOT smell like roses and the scorching summer heat will only make it worse.

Well this was an unexciting blog entry so let me try and change that.

Everybody has pet peeves. The big ones I had before moving to this country included slow drivers, prick customers, talking with your mouth full, and people waking me up for no good reason. Reasonable right? Well let me tell you about the new ones I have developed in my 10 month Azerbaijani life:

1. Waiting in line - Making a line does not exist in Azerbaijan. Weather you are at the bank, post office, train station, or market instead of a line one usually encounters a semi circle. When you get in the semi circle it is all a battle of who will get to the cashier first. Now personally I enjoy my personal space and when there are only 2-3 people waiting I stay behind like a good little girl waiting my turn. And that’s usually when the assholes come. They will literally wedge themselves between me and the person in front and ignore the fact that anyone else exists. When this happen I fuuuuuume. Lately I have started to literally push the kids out of the way, but the old people just don’t get it! Ah! I get frustrated just writing about it.

2. Catcalls - If you are a girl, I am sure you have experienced the occasional whistle or catcall. Sometimes you ignore them, sometimes you retaliate by a certain hand gesture we are all familiar of. Well in Azerbaijan this is a daily occurrence. I have been asked to get married, live together, kissy sounds, “I love you” calls, as well as the occasional walking into me on purpose thing. The problem is that yelling and cursing in English or Azeri doesn’t help, and neither does just ignoring them. Lately my iPod has been helping, but seriously will they ever learn? Surprising for a conservative Muslim culture, but fact.

3. Money talk - We have been taught that asking about salaries and similar money issues is not polite. I have always avoided the subject and felt uncomfortable when it was brought up. Well in Azerbaijan they have been brought up exactly the opposite. Even though I keep telling them “Konolluyam, konolluyam (I’m a volunteer, I’m a volunteer),” they just do not get it! And this is not just my school colleagues, this is cab drivers, shopkeepers, old ladies, and anyone I ever meet! What’s your salary? How much do you pay for this? How much do you pay for that? How much money did you make in America? Lately I just tell them I don’t like to talk about money and they drop the subject for about 5 min.

4. VIZIFs – Peace Corps Azerbaijan requires all volunteers to have cell phones. The cell phone system is probably the most developed thing Azerbaijan has and there is great service everywhere. Peace Corps provided us with the phones and it was our job to get a sim cards and a pay as you go plan. The credit we get on our phone is fine for text messaging people and checking your email, but actually calling costs a lot and therefore we never do it. This is speaking for us volunteers, because Azeris rarely text. They make 1 min phone calls to each other and the infamous vizif. That is when someone calls you and hangs up, meaning they have no credit on their phone and want you to call them back. This annoys me, because I never have any either and if you want to talk to me then use your own money! (PS. If you have a Cingular or a TMobile phone, I can text you for the same price as anyone in Azerbaijan, so let me know!)

5. The “Bush” talk – I don’t like President Bush just like most of the world at this point. I trash talk him all the time and enjoy the occasional discussion on why he keeps digging his hole deeper. Half of the time when a local finds out I came from America, they start talking shit about Bushy to me, and surprisingly that really pisses me off. They don’t know me, or my beliefs so they are being disrespectful to my home and purpose. If I ever was to talk bad about their president, I would be hated by everyone and I know not to do it because its clearly insolent. So yes I can talk shit about Bush, but you better not say anything until you get to know me!

Don’t misunderstand though, there are lovely people here who understand what my mission is, and have been nothing but helpful to me. Uneducated, disrespectful, and rude folk exist everywhere and this is what the ones in this country do. Other than that the school year is almost over and there are only 4 more weeks of classes left. Let me tell you teaching in a 3rd world country is exhausting and I am looking forward to having little to do. This is it for now!

All On My Own

A new chapter has begun in my Azerbaijani and overall existence. For the 1st time in my life I am living on my own. After 3 months of searching and seeing one overpriced dump after another I have finally found a new home and am currently the proud renter of a 3 bedroom decent apartment that has been recently repainted and slightly renovated. Of course it is not without problems in the sense that I don’t have a fridge and frankly I can’t afford one since they cost more than my living allowance. That should be interesting since the weather is already starting to get warmer and storing food will become an issue. Through this fridge experience I also learned another interesting fact about Azeris. They tell you what you think you might want to hear, even though five minuets later you will figure out that they were lying. For instance I had found an old fridge to buy from my counterparts relative. Even though I had not seen it I felt I could trust her since she is the Azeri I am closest to. When my 80 dollar “barely used, small, working fridge arrived,” I came to discover that the thing is at least 30 years old, is huge, rusty, and with 20 year old muck on it. When I turned it on, it not only sounded like a tractor but it vibrated the floor so bad that one could mistake not only the kitchen for a vibrator factory but also the whole floor! At least now I know…Furthermore, my neighborhood is not the friendliest looking and at night it is quite scary. I live next to the bazaar which is empty and dark at night and also right next to another refugee school which is almost as creepy looking as mine. I have to restart doing my pushups in case I have to fend the hoodlums off with my mighty fists. They won’t know what hit them!! Secret parties are already in the plans in order to break in the crib.

Other than that my first vacation passed. I went back to Bulgaria where I enjoyed a week of much deserved fun and civilization. I realized that I have changed, in the sense that I appreciated everything so much more. I couldn’t sleep the first two nights because my room was ‘too warm’ and got stomach problems eating my favorite foods. I have also never found clean toilets as exciting as I did then! Coming back to Azerbaijan was a whole different story. I had a panic attack on the airplane and made myself sick having to miss school for a week. Apparently most of us go through similar emotions when coming back from vacation and I have now begun the countdown for my next out of country experience.

In other news, winter is finally over (even though it is still freezing at night!), there are 8 more weeks of school, and I initiated the start of a new Peace Corps committee! Things are actually looking better, even though I feel there will be a future blog entry about the scorching heat that is about to befall me. Summers in Barda are hot and dry and with no air conditioning I will be a sweaty mess. At least showers will not be a problem…or will they (my apartment building hasn’t had water for 2+ weeks, but more about that issue next time)?

I Dream Of Shower...

I am sitting here trying to figure out what to write and I really can’t think of an exciting topic so I’ll just tell you about the logistics of my recent life. Work is trotting along, the weather is tolerable, and my Baku visits have been frequent due to work necessities. The one thing that has changed are the prices which has made me enjoy host family life less and caused me to spend my living allowance half way through each month. With the New Year and Russia flexing its gas muscle, Azerbaijan retaliated by raising the prices for everything (water, gas, transportation) including that of electricity which went up by 3 times! I never realized how much my life relied on power until now and this situation is really frustrating me. First, my bathing capability has worsened; if I want more than one shower a week I have to heat up buckets of water and bathe 17th century style because heating up the boiler uses a ton of power. Second, I am restricted on running my electric heater and spend cold nights dressed like a cabbage in my sleeping bag killing any desire to be productive. And finally the few rooms in the school that were heated are now the same temperature as outside making my life in Barda uncomfortable EVERYWHER. Additionally I can’t use my water distiller as much and have to pay 25% more when I travel to Baku and the regions. So yes, life has changed a bit and when I said, “I am pretty” before, post price increase Ina is even more fun to look at!! I hope that once I move out, things will get better, but finding a place is proving impossible, mostly because people are trying to sabotage me. It is rare, if at all existent, for women my age to live alone and the fact that I don’t get a salary also doesn’t help. To top it off I just found out host dad lost his job as a truck driver, which means even more restrictions in my weird existence

My work here is not really exciting and maddening at times. I have approximately 4 classes every day, where I co-teach with my older counterparts. Its tougher than it sounds, because all the ‘new methodology’ I am trying to show is just NOT sinking in. They basically teach to the 4 students that get it, and assign memorization of obscenely long texts for homework. If I had to learn the way these kids do I would definitely not speak English either. I also have conversation clubs, where I struggle trying to trying to make the kids think on their own, because children here have never been made to use their imagination. If you show them something on paper they get it and can translate it into their language perfectly, but if I ask “Why?” or make them play pretend NOTHING comes out. That is what takes up most of my time and since I don’t really like teaching I struggle with it more than others. Some other activities I am involved in are trying to start a Peace Corps Environmental Committee, renovate the school gym (which is a whole challenge on its own), and working on logistics for a summer camp for girls with other Peace Corps volunteers.

The picture describes my current state of mind and the blog is a bit on the depressing side mostly because I am cold right now. Other than that I am going to Bulgaria in a month and am going to come back in higher spirits. WOO HOO!

Holidays...

Happy New Year!! The holidays have passed and, unfortunately, were barely felt by me. Christmas was pretty non-existent and New Years was like any other dinner party except the annoying popping fireworks going off all night. Even though I had planned to go to Baku and celebrate with the right amount of alcohol, I decided to save my vacation days for when I actually get to leave the country. As a result I sucked it up and stayed at site where I spent the big night with the host family, watching Az TV. The night consisted of Ina being stuffed with food from 6 pm on and being made to drink sweet Azeri wine. I have probably told the host dad 10 times that I like dry wine, but according to him the desert wine he had gotten was sour and was even squinting when sipping it. I did let that one slide because “Dorothy ain’t in Kansas no more,” and good wine is scarce if at all existent. So 2007 began with a glass of equally sweet, tasteless champagne, tons of greasy food, and with a resolution to definitely leave the country for 2008.

Its not like nothing came out of this joyful time though. The Barda populace’s desire to marry me off was reignited. My previous excuse of “I can’t cook, I don’t like cleaning, and I don’t wash other people’s clothes” had ceased to work. I believe it is because I am reaching the “hag” age of 25 and no one will want me afterwards. The ladies as well as some older gentlemen are sure that I will learn to love these tasks I so strongly hate. Some ladies have even offered me their own sons (to whom I look like a great green card I’m sure). Due to all of this I had started to be more blunt and my current excuse for why I don’t want to marry here is “I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!” How else am I suppose to convince them that it is OK to be single at my age! You’d think that would work, but noooo, according to the ladies smart and modern minded men exist in Azerbiajan and I should stick around! I don't deny that these men are here, but for 1 reason or another I still would never marry one…Now let me describe what the candidates actually do represent. The style is: a shiny striped polyester suit, brown sweater underneath, shiny pointy elf shoes, greasy side swiped hair, and at least one gold tooth. These are at least the specimens that stand on the street corners with nothing better to do than bother bypassing foreigners like myself. My irritation speaks for itself...